Wednesday, September 30, 2009


Did you ever not want to do something or go somewhere and you make yourself go and then later you are glad you went? That pretty much sums up my weekend. I have been in a funk. I am choosing to call it that. I know exactly why I am feeling the way that I am and I really can't change the external forces causing this temporary (I pray) phenomena and do I can only change me. That's easy to say, easy to write, I preach it all the time and it is not easy to do.

This weekend I truly just wanted to stay in bed curled up in a ball and sleep and weep and feel lousy and wallow in my own self pity. The problem is that I'm a mom, wife, granddaughter and friend so I don't have as much time for that sort of thing as I wanted.

I was able to skip out on the granddaughter obligations as the ALF made plans for an outing on Saturday. That was good, more theoretical time for me. Now, if I could only make it translate into real wallow time. Friday I made a mental list of all the things I HAD to do and made a plan. The plan was to get up early and get it all done quickly so I could come home and start wallowing. Ummm... yes, I know it sounds wrong, planning on wallowing but I really wanted to put myself in timeout but I had things to do first so this was the best I could do. Well, I was done with everything including the surprise family visit around 5:30. Just in time to shower and start dinner. Dang! I ran out of time today but the weekend is not over. All hope is not lost. I should be able to wallow tomorrow, Sunday. I only have one things that HAS to get done because I almost did it all today. OK, this could work. I'm already feeling better at the thought of the future wallow time. How pathetic is that? Don't answer that.

Sunday, baby! I am ready to stay in bed but then it hits me, I have dinner plans. UGH! I really don't want to go. I wanna stay home and wallow in self-pity dang it! Why is my schedule being so uncooperative! The dog is barking, he wants to go out. Gratefully, Hubby gets up to make his cafe con leche. I ask if he can make me some because I don't feel like making the customary big Sunday breakfast. He does. Yeah, me! I squeeze an extra hour of hang out in bed time. Then I force myself to get up and do what I must and then I start putzing around with a few other things and then dang, it's almost shower and go to dinner time. I'm tired. I really don't want to go but the shower felt good and gave me a bit of energy and off I went.

It was dinner with girlfriends at a nice restaurant in a fancy schmancy hotel downtown. I walked into the lobby and it was beautiful. I love going to pretty places. The restaurant is on the 25th floor. WOW! What a view. We got there in daylight and by the time we left it was dark so we were able to enjoy the view by day and by night. Fabulous. The food was good and the best was the company. It was a good thing I went. It lifted my spirits tremendously. I needed that more than the wallow time. I just needed me time; me and my girlfriends. I was so happy that I went. It's Wednesday and I'm still thinking about it.
Comfort and Joy!

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