Friday, January 22, 2010


So did you hear the one about the dad who gave the boys directions to their buddy's house that took them in the opposite direction and made them loop de loop around about 10 miles? Well, that's another story but suffice it to say that if they hadn't done all that driving around the car would have made it all the way home and not died on the way back.

The boys decided to stop and pick up their dinner on the way home which worked out well for the parents who were ordering Chinese. As they sat around chatting and finishing their Honey Chicken the phone rings. If you are a parent of a driving age child you understand that means stop what you are doing until you know the call is meaningless. When you hear 'Where are you?' and 'I'll be right there.' you want to scream at the parent on the phone WTF HAPPENED WHY ARE YOU TELEPATHICALLY TELLING ME AND INSTANTANEOUSLY RESOLVING IT AT THE SAME TIME but you remain calm (read: stuck to your chair) and wait for the end of the call to quickly ask what happened. You are calmly told that the car died on the way home not too far away and that it won't start. Of course, you have more questions and want to jump in the car to their rescue your lack of mechanical knowledge notwithstanding and yet you let the men go with jumper cables in hand to fetch the car and boys because honestly how many people does it take to jump a car. This should be relatively simple and straightforward.

While they are gone the moms exchange their questions and thoughts on what may or may not have happened and may happen and decide to pick up the dinner things silently (because to say it out loud would be inviting disaster) agreeing that they need to be ready for whatever may come. So they pick up, they clean up and they sit and they chat about the day sprinkling the conversation with do you think the started the car and neither one answering or suggesting they call to check on things.

We hear car doors and men's voices and they all 4 walk through the front door the children still eating the remnants of their dinner. They need to call the car service (you know the one, first letter of the alphabet 3 times) because they left the car in the parking lot of a nearby strip shopping center. The women don't grasp all of the details because they are being told out of order but we garner that the car was moved to this new location and now it can't stay there overnight (obviously). The women need to get up and go resolve this now and the men need to relax and watch more football for a bit. More questions get asked and a new plan is hatched to save time and $. Instead of getting it towed home to then tow it again to a shop tomorrow lets get it here tonight ourselves and then tow it tomorrow. Honestly, at that point I was still unclear as to why the car didn't make it all the way when they went out but I didn't push the issue. It is what it is and now we need to deal with it.

(Picture light bulb now) Hubby remembers that he has a rope that can be used to pull the car and as he goes to find it I come to understand that hubby had to push the car with the truck to get it to where it was. I'm still confused but whatever. Now to get it out of the parking lot and to my house the women are clear that a left turn needs to be made on a busy street and are concerned that oncoming traffic may not realize that the car is being pulled and well it wouldn't' be a happy ending. So, it is decided that we will go with them to help. Hubby starts joking, "How many Cubans does it take to push a car?" As I am getting my purse, I am yelling back we are pulling not pushing. I'm thinking maybe that's why the car isn't here they don't know if they are pushing or pulling. (See title for answer)

Here's the plan: Hubby in the truck will be in front pulling the car being driven by other dad. I will drive our car behind the car with my flashers on because the car's flashers probably don't work as the battery is dead. Other mom will have flashlights and stand in the road waving them a la landing an airplane so that oncoming traffic will see the left turning caravan and stop. The children will be in the car with me and are going merely for the educational value of the experience.

Once we get to the parking lot it takes a while to get the car hooked up but it is done. As we begin to execute our plan another flashlight is added so other mom now has two and the boys are concerned about how she's going to get into my car and change their seating so she can get in the back seat without having to walk around the car. They also suggest everyone roll down their windows so we can hear each other yelling. You see how much they are learning.

We wait for the light to change, other mom is flashing the lights in the road, hubby slowly pulls the car up, out and left as I go slowly behind explaining to the boys that enough room needs to be between us so that if the rope snaps there are no injuries. Other mom hops in the back seat and we get through the intersection and home with no more surprises. As we are undoing all the ropes and parking cars and trucks, they can't get the keys out of the cars ignition because its not in park. It's in neutral and since it has no battery they can't change gears. So, after the men had washed up they are told they have to move the truck and jump the car again to get the keys out. Oh for the love of ^&%^*$. Whatever, it's done and we all sit and have some soda and let the men watch the end of their game. The teens joke that something stronger is needed that a soda and I tell them to sit an d put their feet up for a few years and wait for that one.

We chalk it up to a learning experience and give the boys some tips for future reference because these things will happen and the next day the car is towed to the shop for a new alternator and battery. It could have been worse but nevertheless gimme patience. :)

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