4th of July

So what's going on for the 4th. My dad's in Marco Island, some of hubby's family is in the Keys, 18 went to Bimini with some friends. This evening I am going to some friends house to BBQ and hang out and 15 and his friends will throw some firecrackers. My food contribution is an orzo pasta salad and a red velvet cake. The cake is at hubby's request. He really loves it and I haven't made it in maybe a year. The salad was super easy. Anyone can make it. I watch a lot of Food Network and quite a few pasta salads were made in the past few days. The one I made was inspired by both Sandra Lee and Paula Deen. Paula for the veggies that I chose to put in it plus the idea of using orzo instead of a rotini and Sandra for the dressing.

Easy Orzo Pasta Salad
Boil a box of orzo. Don't forget to salt and oil the water. While that drained, I tossed in 2 bags of frozen vegetable medleys (carrots, snap peas, broccoli and water chestnut) to the same water salting again and let that cook up for a few minutes. I chopped 1/2 can of water chestnuts and tossed it into a bowl. Added the orzo. When the veggies were done I drained and tossed them in too. I picked out the large pieces of broccoli and carrots and cut them up into smaller pieces. I poured 1/2 a bottle of creamy Caesar salad dressing (I like Newman's) and mixed it all up. I added a little more dressing to get it to the wetness that I like and put it in the fridge to chill. It's that simple.

You can pick whatever pasta you like and whatever veggies you like and I have done it in the past with an Italian vinaigrette dressing and that's yummy too.

The Red Velvet Cake recipe is adapted from the Wall Street Journal back in Feb 2007 and they adapted it from "The Confetti Cakes Cookbook" and the icing was adapted from "The Waldorf Astoria Cookbook".

It's a 3 layer cake so butter and flour 3 round cake pans and preheat the oven to 350.

Ingredients:
31/2 cups flour (I used all purpose, they say cake flour)
1/2 cup unsweetened cocoa (not Dutch process, I used Ghiradelli)
1 1/2 tsp. salt
2 cups oil (I used veg., they say canola)
2 1/4 cups sugar
3 large eggs
6 tbsp. (3 oz.) red food coloring (it comes out to one little bottle)
1 1/2 tsp. vanilla (I used 1 heaping tsp of Dbl strength Madagascar vanilla cuz it's strong stuff)
1 1/4 cup buttermilk
2 tsp. baking soda
2 1/2 tsp. white vinegar

Whisk flour, cocoa and salt in a bowl & set aside. Place oil & sugar in bowl & beat at med speed until well blended. Beat in eggs one at a time. With machine on low, very slowly add food coloring (be careful, it may splatter). Add vanilla. Add flour mixture and buttermilk alternating in 2 batches. Scrape down bowl and continue to beat just long enough to blend. (over mixing makes for a tougher batter). Place baking soda in a small dish & stir in vinegar add to batter with machine running. Beat for 10 seconds to incorporate. Divide batter into 3 pans and bake for 40/45 minutes until tester comes out clean. Cool in pan for 20 minutes, flip and cool completely before icing.

Icing
2 cups heavy cream
12 oz. cream cheese, at room temp.
12 oz. mascarpone
1/2 tsp. vanilla (I use less of the dbl strength stuff)
1 1/2 cups confectioner's sugar, sifted

Whip cream, cover in bowl and refrigerate. Blend cream cheese & mascarpone until smooth. Add vanilla and add sugar. Blend well. Fold in whipped cream and refrigerate until needed.

This is a very traditional old southern cake that recently became popular again. It's quite yummy. I hope you try it.

Hope that everyone has a safe 4th of July.

Harold and Kumar go to White Castle

I saw this over the weekend. Why did I like this movie? I have no idea but I thought it was funny. I actually laughed out loud! Fine. The 2 of you who know me are thinking that's not hard she'll laugh at anything. But see I don't laugh at these types of things. I don't but I did. Let's try this again. You know all those dumb TV shows out there like....I survived a Japanese game show. I can't handle that stuff. A few years back I commented to my family that if I owned a TV station I'd call it IBS for Idiot Broadcasting System and it would show all those dumb 'reality' shows. Remember Anna Nicole's show, I couldn't run that prime time because of content but it would certainly be a money maker. So the running joke when we see a commercial for one of these programs and I repeated get stunned that this makes for TV programming, they simply say "prime time for IBS!" I can't laugh at it. I just think it's too stupid. Anyway, the Harold & Kumar movie would for sure be a regular movie of the weekon IBS but the thing is I laughed. A Lot. I thought parts of it were downright hysterical. I mean come on when Doogie Howser steals the car, I was in tears laughing. And when Kumar shocks the Dean who's interviewing him with the phone conversation he's overhearing. I'm telling you, it's a hoot. Now I totally didn't get Napoleon Dynamite but Harold and Kumar are my kinds so stupid its funny.
What does this all have to do with food? Well, White Castle of course. I've never had a White Castle burger. Have you?

Cuban Cooking

As you know I have been getting together about monthly to learn how to make Cuban dishes. This past Sunday I learned to make Frijoles Colorados . YUM!

It's one of my favorites and I was taught by my MIL and its one of her best dishes. It's really not that complicated. It's just a long process even with the pressure cooker. We had a wonderful time. Be sure to click on the link there and check out the recipe.

Of course, I took some home for 18. He loves them and is very pleased to hear that I "know" how to make them now. Of course, I will give it a try soon and we'll see how they come out when I make them.

Book Review

I'm behind on my reviews so here's an old one....

The Thirteenth Tale
I thoroughly enjoyed this book. It took me back to the books I fell in love with in high school. All those Gothic romance novels. There's more than one story here and they are well weaved together. I loved trying to solve the mysteries as I read a long, the plot twists, how we only got bits and pieces at a time, different parts of the puzzles. It was a fun read.

NoBloPoMo July

The theme is FOOD. I can't resist. I have to give it a try.

So, let's see if I can post 31 days in a row about food. I will link to other's recipes, write out some of my own, tell you about my tried and true and my new adventures in food. It's part of every day so theoretically there should be enough to write about. We shall see. Wish me luck.

I need to work on getting a button up for it or something. Hmmm...that technical stuff ALWAYS gets in the way.

Halfway there....

The year is half over! Can you believe it? I can't. So this would be the time of year that I take a look back and see what I've done and set my mind to a few more before the end of the year. I think about the resolutions I made and where I am with that.

So, I don't remember my resolutions. I looked back at my end of year and beginning of year entries because you would think that I would have blogged about it but didn't see any. So, we'll move on to what I have done. I fixed myself. That its I found a Doc, a DOM (Dr of Oriental Medicine) who has fixed me. I'm not in pain anymore. That's a biggie. Of course, i still have to loose weight so I am starting to walk. Haven't blogged about it because I didn't want to jinx it. But I am going to try to walk and reduce my intake. I'm already eating better because of my DOM but the problem now is quantity...proportions. My head knows the right ones but the serving hand, mouth and stomach aren't listening to the brain. I need to work on that.

I have been doing more of my hobbies which I am enjoying tremendously. I am scrapping, cooking, embroidering, crocheting and even starting to sew. It's lots of fun. I need to organize my self better and clean out closets and drawers to make space. I need to keep working on that.

So, looking ahead....I see walking....more crafting.....de-cluttering and organizing my surroundings...

Cool Quote

"Every action of our lives touches some chord that will vibrate in eternity."

-Edwin Hubbel Chapin

WOW! huh?! Think about that one for a while!

Just Imagine....

You are fast asleep. You vaguely hear some noise in the background but manage to ignore it and continue sleeping for you don’t know how long because well, you’re sleeping. You hear these words in your head “Good morning. What time do you pick up 15?” It’s a dream right, you don’t have to answer maybe you make a noise that sounds like a response, you wouldn’t know because well, YOU’RE SLEEPING. There it is again, “Hey Sweets, What time do you pick up 15?” So you answer out loud in probably an Exorcist type voice 7:15. Then you hear more voices and start realizing that this is not a dream this is your life early in the morning. You hear the Exorcist voice interrupt the voice, “What?!” You realize that Exorcist voice may be you. You clear your throat and start to open your eyes as you come out of your sleep fog and think that voice must be my husband. You are still hearing it. It’s another question, it’s about dropping the car off when you pick up 15. “What?” -that sounded like you- What time am I getting up? You are asked, “What time do you normally get up?” 7, you answer. Now you know it’s your husband who is telling you, “OK, I will go pick up 15 and when I come back we’ll take the car when I take you to work.” You’re only response is “What time is it now?” 6:32. So, you lay there for a minute and try to think. It’s 6:32, I have to get up when? To go to what before I g….” You feel yourself drifting off into that fog again. Noise you need noise. Where’s the remote. Turn on the TV for stimulation. It’s on, good. Focus on the noise. What are they saying…knit, perl, bind off…it’s a knitting show... concentrate! OK, what time is it now, click info on the TV, it’s 6:44…you’ve got to get going because even though you are unclear as to the whats, wheres and whens, things need to get done. You’re up, dressed, ready to go and he’s not there. Fine, he’s picking up 15. So, have your breakfast. 15s practice is over at 7:30, you have plenty of time to eat. The second you sit to eat, they’re back. WOW, how’d they do that? 15s never done that early when you pick him up. Hubby takes off to the room, you are still having your breakfast, and you are watching one of your favorite channels in an attempt to smooth out your rocky start. Hubby appears and sits next to you while you break fast and announces he was having stomach issues. OK, shows over, breakfast is done, what’s left of your coffee is cold. You take it all to the kitchen and ask, “Are you ready to go?” As you both head out the door, you check “Are we taking the car?” YES, he snaps back. You take the car and go to work and start bickering in the car about the time, lack of communication, the coordinating of the morning and getting to work. He naturally doesn’t understand because according to him he figured it all out with you this morning. He doesn’t understand that you were frickin frackin sleeping! WTF! If you did it to him, it wouldn’t work because you have learned over the years to NOT speak to him in the morning otherwise you mess up his routine. He thought you were different from him that he could talk to you in the morning. Yes, I’m different you can talk to me but preferably when I am maybe AWAKE! You get to work at 8:50. You had committed to having some reports delivered via email to someone by 9am. They are going to be late. Life’s a bitch. This was my morning…and hubby’s…we didn’t start off on the right foot….he doesn’t understand…he gets to go home and pace his day how he wants, he’s got the day off. I have to deal with deadlines and work demands and a buttload of work. Gimme patience! My MIL tells me that she doesn’t take returns or exchanges since I lost the receipt for him!

Coin toss

At game night the other night we were talking about odds and probability and other math stuff like that. I will be honest and tell you I don't remember how the conversation started but I know that we got into whether it was 50/50 chance of a coin toss being heads or tails. My stance was it's 50/50. Hubby and others took the position that it wasn't that it depended on the number of rotations, the number of times you toss it etc. Guess who was right? Before I tell you, sit down. I don't want you to fall over when you find out. All safe and secure now? Moi! I was right. HERE are the actual reasons why.

Any other mathematical problems you would like me to ponder and resolve (read: research online)? Just so ya know, hubby still doesn't believe me. I realize it's hard for him to imagine that I get something associated with numbers right. Go figure! :)

Stayed in all weekend!

The weekend was spent mostly in the kitchen. I cooked a lot. I made brownies Friday night for game night. I made 2 meat pies using this pastry recipe. I made a strawberry pie again, from memory because I lost the recipe and it was too wet, tasty but wet. I made a strawberry rhubarb pie. I've never had one but it intrigued me. I made this one. I made waffles for Sunday breakfast as per usual. Hmmm....when I write it out it doesn't sound like a lot. Basically, I made 4 pies, brownies and waffles. I guess it felt like a lot because the pies are like 2 parts each since I made the crust and the fillings.
I also watched a bunch of movies while I was cooking. I saw Searching for Bobby Fisher, which I had never seen and thoroughly enjoyed. I saw RV, which was really dumb but funny because I like Robin Williams. I saw Goodfellas - again- because we had recorded it for the boys since they had never seen it so, we say it because it was there. I saw Disturbia, which was good. I can't imagine seeing it in the theater, they would have thrown me out because of all my screaming. It wasn't gory but it was jump out at you scary.
All in all a good weekend even though the weather alternated between utterly too hot and torrential downpour.

Cool Quote

I stumbled across this quote and it made me laugh out loud.

A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects. - Robert A. Heinlein, "Lazarus Long"

That's a lot to ask for from any human being Mr. Heinlein! Let's see I can: change a diaper -check, take orders-check, give orders (so I am told)-check, cooperate (IMHO)-check, pitch manure (I'm guessing here)-check and cook a tasty meal-check. 6 out of 21. I guess I'll be here for a while if I have to complete that list. LOL! :)

Today is my brother's birthday. He's 41! Let's see what he can do off the list. He can change a diaper, balance accounts (I think), take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, I dunno about the equations and problems, pitch manure (again I'm thinking most of can do that), and cook a tasty meal for sure. Let's see he got 8 out of 21. Pretty good bro! HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Wish I was there or you were here!

The more things change, the more they stay the same

That saying occurred to me this morning as I was driving 15 to his Cross Country practice. Last night I had a wonderful time and well needed laughs coupled with the fun of meeting new friends. Just what I needed after this week.

Pheasantly Fascinating, Mrs. Phez, The Scribbler's Nook - who I insist I know from somewhere. He looks so familiar! I truly hope it comes to me!- , The Mind Wobbles and her hubby all got together at Chez Phez to play Cranium. It was tons of fun. As we were leaving TroyBoy said they had little kids that wake them up at 5am. Well, mine may not be as little as his anymore and you may think much has changed but lets see. I'm thinking Baby Phez probably woke them up a little after 5, my alarm rang at 5:20. Mrs. Phez and I both got up. She got the baby, changed his diaper and got a bottle. I woke up 15 and got dressed. She probably took the baby to their bed to feed him and trying to get him to doze off so they can squeeze in another 20/30 minutes of sleep. I drove to the park, parked the car. lowered the windows, reclined the seat and slept for an hour while 15 ran. It's now 7am. They've given up on sleeping in. Lil' Phez is probably up by now wanting breakfast, they start the day for real this time. I am sure coffee is in play. I sit up and watch them finish up their practice, stretch and at 7:30 we leave the park and go home. He showers and I start laundry and have my coffee.
So, 15 years have gone by and my grandfathers words when I told him I was pregnant ring true. "You will never sleep the same again."
I just met the Phez' and I don't know their morning routine. I am really winging it assuming they do close to what we did when the boys were that young. But as you can see we are all up because of the boys, taking care of the boys. The upside here Phez' is eventually you don't have to change their diaper. :)
Thanks Phez' for inviting us! It was lots of fun!

Dots of the in-between stuff

In between work, hospital and regular home stuff I have managed to do some other things (not sure how) and here they are:

* Made a strawberry pie. It was low on strawberries because I didn't realize it called for so many and the kids have been picking at the pints in the fridge but it was still good, quite tasty. I want to make another one this weekend with the bajillion strawberries it calls for.

* I finished one book (The Geography of Bliss) and started another (The Last Lecture). Reviews will follow.

* I made a dress for my niece. She's 5. It's a sun dress. Don't think wow! now she can sew or anything. Frankly it was 2 seams. One up the side and the other the hem. BUT the hem came out real nice I doubled it over so there wouldn't be any fraying edge. It was good practice and helped me get familiar with my machine. I should take a picture and post it. Hmmm...maybe this weekend.

* I saw a few movies from NetFlix...Rent and La Vie En Rose. LOVED both of them. Hubby actually sat through both of them with me and didn't hate them. He didn't love them but he got through them. Yes, that was 2 movies in a row that were basically for me but remember it's June and June is mine.

* I have been delivering Orchids and Bromiliads that 15s Cross Country team is selling as a fundraiser. I thought it was clever. Would have been nice to do it before Mother's Day we could have sold a ton on Orchids then. As it is we've done very well. We are hoping that it will defray the costs of a trip they want to take this summer.

Can't think of anything else. I want to work on pictures this weekend. I want to put some on a CD for my brother and mail it along with the dress. If I do that, make the pie and get some rest in between GM's drama it will be a good weekend.

And in case you are interested, the sun is out and the headache is gone!

Weather...pressure!!!

I have the headache from hell. Yes, I am at work. Why, well because if I were to stay at home I'd feel guilty that I should be at the hospital and if I'm at work I can't be at the hospital so I'm at work. Back to the headache. It has been raining and yucky out for like 3 days. I have had the headache for like 3 days. It's because of the weather. I don't want to get technical on you (as if I could) but it has to do with atmospheric pressure and my head. Suffice it to say that other that drilling a hole right above my temples and over my eyes on my forehead and maybe on the top left of my head to relieve the pressure I will have no relief until this frickin' frackin' front passes. Naturally when I am in this state I should try to refrain from stressful situations, therefore I am at work and not at the hospital, guiltily ignoring the white elephant in the room and calling in to talk to docs and nurses and GM instead of dealing with them all in person.
But let me take a moment to rethink how I am (not) handling this....
I am grateful and blessed for:
*my GM who is reminding me loud and clear to appreciate life and that we are always in control of our life unless we give that control away
*my family who is being so patient with me, my GM and being helpful around the house
*my friends who are constantly fonts of prayer, love and support
*the rain that we so badly needed in this area
*my job that lets me forget about life stresses and yet gives me time to deal with them when needed
*for the strawberry pie I made last night because I couldn't sleep because of this horrid headache
Whatever....my head hurts...gimme patience!

Defying the odds

Yesterday's post was cut short because I was urgently called back to the hospital for my grandmother. I had left her an hour earlier with the docs orders for meds and tests having been given and a wait and see how she reacts. I went home to shower, change have dinner, connect with my family and do something a little mindless and recharge myself after a few hours in the ER.

I was called because now she was refusing treatment and they didn't want to take responsibility if something should happen. The Doc told me she wouldn't make it through the night...(heart rate in the 160s and BP 68/40)...she was arguing and physically fighting off Drs and nurses most of the night refusing treatment saying she wanted and was ready to die. We all tried to talk her into treatment. Every logic was used. Every ruse was used. Doc still claimed that she was coherent enough to make her own decisions. Finally at 3am ... I tried a different route...
ME: "Why the heck did you come to the hospital? You should have just stayed home and not wasted the bed and everyone's time and died there!"
GM: "That's what you want -for me to die! Well, I'm not going to! Nurse give me everything immediately to prove to her that she can't make me die!" Success. It hurt but it worked.
This morning she is awaiting a room to be admitted basically because they don't understand how she came back and her vitals are now stable. It's been a long night....

Nice day for me!

I had a lovely birthday weekend sharing it with the dads.

Friday, I watched Pride & Prejudice for the umpteenth time as the Oxygen channel was so kind to play it for me. It wasn't the Colin Firth as Darcy version but I still enjoyed it because I love P&P in any incarnation.

Saturday, my birthday! Yeah me! I ran a couple of quick errands and promptly came home to play with my sewing machine. I had ordered an outfit online and when I received the tunic length top it was apparently made for someone who is 7 feet tall because on me it could have been a dress. It went down to the top of my knees. So, why not just keep it as a dress? Well, frankly because I'm gave up my street-walker outfit days. The material is Acetate and Spandex. So, yes it stretches and would be a bit too form fitting for my rear for me to wear in public and not possibly be arrested. So, I was going to attempt to alter it. Sounds simple right? A hem. How hard can it be? Come on this is basic stuff. If I can't do a hem, I have no business owning a sewing machine. So, a little over an hour later, ta-da! The top is hemmed to a respectable tunic length for 5'4" me. I put it on. Aw, crap! The hem is like wavy. It's not that the seam isn't straight it's straight. It's just that since the material had stretch to it, I guess I was stretching it along as I was sewing and there's a wave thing going on. Oh, but look! It's wavy in the back too. Oh, it's like that all the way around. Cool. It looks like an effect. I finish getting dressed and walk out to model it for hubby.
Me: "How do you like it? It's the top I just hemmed. "
Hubby: Squinting to get a good look, "Not bad! That's pretty good! I like the design you gave it."
Me: "What design?"
Hubby: Squints some more and in a tone not as confident as before, "Well, the way it goes up and down kind of wavy. You did that on purpose, right?"
Me: "Not really. But it looks like it, so that's the story. I did it on purpose!"

And with that we were off to dinner at Carabas with my dad and his girlfriend (review later). After an early dinner back home to make the fixings for Father's Day breakfast. It was a lovely day...very relaxing....family....food...and crafting...what more could I want. Nothing.

Technically...NOT

As I have mentioned before, I am not technically inclined. So, I laugh as I take stock in my techness.

I can write on 3 separate blogs, I am on MySpace, I am on Facebook and I am on Goodreads. I think that's a lot! Granted I never used the MySpace or the Facebook previously except to check up on my kids and their friends. Now I have started actually using Facebook. I'm learning...slowly.

Hmmm...I wonder can I link my blog(s) and Goodreads to the Facebook? I will have to play with that later.

Another thing I just learned how to do is how to transfer pictures from my computer to CDs. I made some for the dads for Father's Day. WooHoo!

I will take this moment to send a THANKS to The Mind Wobbles! She is the one who takes the time to deal with all of my tech-questions and has the patience to walk me through things like the little linky thing up there to her.
So, you CAN teach an old dog new tricks and I'm getting a little technical.....

Musical cards

You know that commercial that is playing now for Hallmark Father's Day cards. You know the one with the musical card that plays Can't Touch That by MC Hammer and the kids give it to the dad and he sees himself in Hammer's video. My household loves that commercial. It makes us laugh. So last night 15 asked us what song we would want in our card. The first song that popped into my head was Celebrate by Kool and the Gang. Remember that one?! It took hubby a while but he thinks he'd want something by the Bee Gees and the Staying Alive album.

What song would you want in a card celebrating you?

Mine!

It's June and in case you didn't know, it's mine. Yes. The month of June is mine. My birthday is smack dab in the middle and I claim more than that day, I take the month to celebrate my birthday. I live large that way. I spend the entire month saying I want stuff and if the family whines, I say but it's for my birthday. I win. :) I enjoy celebrating things. Anything. So, I stretch my birthday out. I realize I have to give some time to the dads fro Father's Day (heck sometimes my bday falls on Father's Day) and my brother's bday is in June too and I am sure there are other things that are not me-centric that happen in June. But that works for me because I like sharing. So it's still mine. June is mine and I will celebrate it as I want but I'll share too because I like sharing. Just don't ask me to do something I don't' want because I wont' because it's my birthday month and so there you aren't the boss of me and can't make me do it.
So far this June is going just fine!

Kiss the ground

Saturday we went to hubby's aunt's house to see the MIL and give her the bday present we forgot to take to the Keys. 15 drove. He drove with all 4 of us in the car. for the first time. all 4 of us.

18 and I were sitting in the back. I try to just sit there and breath and tend to close my eyes. Hubby was instructing (read: quietly watching) shot gun. 18 says he doesn't want to do that again! He says now he understands how I was in the car with him. Mind you 15 is doing fine. But when you are in the car with a new driver you feel very out of control and you don't have the sense that they will stop when and how you want them too or that they know when and how to use the gas and brake pedal like you do. It can be very unnerving to say the least. When we got out of the car at aunt's house. 18 made a production of getting out of the car and throwing himself to the ground and kissing it. 15 just rolled his eyes and laughed saying "you're not home yet!". 18 got up put his arm around 15 and told him he did fine, he just doesn't want to test his heart that way again. They laughed there way into the house. It was nice to watch. Then 18 put his arm around me and said "I don't know how you did it for me and now you are doing it again. It must be hard." I told him it's the hardest thing you do as a parent; handing you kid the keys to the car and letting them go out into that crazy world. Yes, I am doing it again. What choice do we have? It must be done. Gimme patience.

Cool Quote

"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass...It's about learning to dance in the rain!"

I don't have a source for this quote other than a friend emailed it to me but I like it!
I love quotes. Pithy little sayings that hit the spot. I hardly ever remember any and I have many books of quotes and I have tons of little scraps of paper all over the place with them jotted down. So, I'm thinking that Cool Quotes may become a regular feature on my blog and be a nice way fro me to collect them and be able to refer to them when I want.

TGIF!

It's Friday. I'm glad. I'm tired. It's been a busy week here at work.
Today after work I am rushing to a girlfriend's house to catch the tail end of a lesson on making Pastel de Guayaba. It was a last minute thing and you I will post about it later. I want to finish an embroidery project I'm doing. I want to put some pictures on CDs for my dad, brother and another friend. I want to print out pictures from graduation. I want to work on some scrapbook pages. I want to watch a movie or 2 cuz they are relaxing. I want to bathe the dog. I want to cook or bake something out of the ordinary. I have a dentist appointment on Saturday and I think 18 want to go college clothes shopping on Sunday.

We'll see what gets done. I'm thinking not half of that will get done.

OMG!

I'm freaking out over here. I never talk about work (I don't think) but I am freaking out over here because the other woman that works here has just given 30 day notice! We are a VERY small operation here. There are 4 of us plus a part-timer. She has been working with the owner since the beginning of time - longer than all his wives put together! She's goto gal. She knows EVERYthing. She knows how he ticks. She knows where everything is. She knows how he likes everything. OMG! I think we should shut down the company. What am I gonna do?!?!? I can't fill her shoes. HELL I don't WANT to fill her shoes. OMG!!! How are we gonna manage?!?!?!?! I know we are all expendable but OMG!!!!!! Everytime I touch something today I have been thinking...I don't know how to do this! OMG! Gimme Patience! PATIENCE! GIMME ENLIGHTENMENT!

We decide to do an outdoor event = rain

Key West has been on level 3 water restrictions due to drought conditions. They should have called us earlier. Because that's all it took was for me and my family to want to stay and see the sunset for the skies to open and shower down on us. After a long hot day and the Trolley Tour which I recommend if you have never done it, we had dinner at The Rum Barrel (The Southernmost Philly Club in the US) and then walked over to have a slice of Key Lime Pie before heading to Mallory Square to see the locals do their shows and watch the sunset.
We felt the winds picking up but kept deluding ourselves and saying it would be a quick sun shower and move on as is common in FL, especially the Keys. The sprinkles started the camera and my in-laws ran for cover in a store. We milled about and watched some vendors pack up but one stayed. An escape artist, a la Houdini. The drops were getting bigger but he would get into the straight jacket and chains and escape if we agreed to stay and watch and not take off. We agreed. The sun teased us and peeked out from behind a cloud as he got tied up into his contraption. By the time he was locked in the rain was lightly but steadily coming down. As if nature were working with him, as his drama unfolded so did the rain. He got free and as the crowd was dropping $ in his open case the thunder and lightning came. A careful dash to the car and good-byes were said as we were driving home and they were driving back to the camp site for another night. We drove home in the dark in the pouring rain with our hazard lights on so that other cars would see us at 35 mph for 3 hours! Need rain? Call us and we'll make plans for an outdoor event near you too.

Memorial Day

I know it's the day after but...
Did you think of all the fallen service men yesterday? Did you say a prayer of thanks? That is what Memorial Day is all about. On TV, I watched the changing of the guard at the tomb of the unknown soldier and talked about it with my boys. 18 saw it when he went to close-up and we all shared our thoughts. We also talked about the tour we took in Key West, we learned about it's connection to the various wars, it was a home to many a Navy, the base there, the statue of the sailor in the cemetery facing out to sea saluting all those who left and never returned. It was very interesting and fitting for Memorial Day weekend.
I again told the story of one of my best friends in high school who's brother was a marine who died in an embassy bombing in Beirut. It was the closest military death I have experienced. It was devastating to all of us at school. I pray for that family and many others.

The Plan

Here's the plan for Sunday...
to eat this:

and watch this:

Spring cleaning

I am forever spring cleaning at home. The idea is one drawer at a time, one closet at a time. I'll get there.
Yesterday it was the blog that got the spring cleaning. I'm not done. Later today I will work on my sidebar stuff. I finished that books months ago, read another one and am on yet another one. Gotta add to the blog roll and delete too. Just general organizing and culling to do.
Hope you like the fresh look for summer.
Here's wishing everyone a great long weekend and a toast to the beginning of summer.

Mental Feng Shui

A friend sent me this as a chain email and I liked the message so here you go! I deleted all the chain mail parts.

Mental Feng Shui
ONE. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully. T
TWO. Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, t heir conversational skills will be as important as any other.
THREE. Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want.
FOUR. When you say, 'I love you,' mean it.
FIVE. When you say, 'I'm sorry,' look the person in the eye.
SIX. Be engaged at least six months before you get married.
SEVEN. Believe in love at first sight.
EIGHT. Never laugh at anyone's dreams. People who don't have dreams don't have much.
NINE. Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the only way to live life completely.
TEN. In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling.
ELEVEN. Don't judge people by their relatives.
TWELVE. Talk slowly but think quickly.
THIRTEEN. When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile and ask, 'Why do you want to know?
FOURTEEN. Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
FIFTEEN. Say 'bless you' when you hear someone sneeze.
SIXTEEN. When you lose, don't lose the lesson.
SEVENTEEN. Remember the three R's: Respect for self; Respect for others; and Responsibility for all your actions.
EIGHTEEN. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.
NINETEEN. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
TWENTY. Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice.
TWENTY- ONE. Spend some time alone.
A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your heart.

Must ...

My SIL realized the other day that 18 may never be back here to live. Obviously, he will be back for vacation stints and visits but who knows where things will lead while he's in college and if he will be back to Miami to live his post-collegiate life.

That prompted a lot of you haven't done this;you have to before you leave and you haven't that; you have to before you leave. So, he threw up his hands and said that we could have Sundays. Basically anyone can claim him for all or part of Sunday to take him to to what he MUST do before leaving Miami. When they were listing things many of them 15 has done and remembers doing but apparently 18 didn't go or doesn't remember.

So, we are starting this weekend. Memorial weekend. SIL's family goes RVing in Marathon Key. It's also MILs birthday. 18 has never spent the night in the RV, so we are driving down Saturday to meet them and stay the night. Sunday we are all driving down to Key West to spend the day, take the tour and have dinner for MILs bday. I hope 15 decides to go with us, even though he has spent many a night in the RV because it will be lots of fun to all go and neither of them has ever been to Key West. When they were little we used to go to Bahia Honda (another Key) but we never went down to Key West.

I'll keep you posted on what he has dubbed as his 'cultural adventures tour of Miami'. There are many things unique to this town (as any town) and I know we take them for granted because we live here. The thought of him leaving and not enjoying them will prompt us all to see our hometown as tourists. I have been wanting to do that for quite sometime.

Graduation dots

Well, one down, one to go. It was a jam packed weekend. Here are some highlights:

* A little after midnight the night before, 18 sends me a text that he's got another ticket, to invite my dad. At that hour I call my dad. He laughs because a few hours earlier his girlfriend's son called to invite her to her grandson's graduation because they had just gotten a ticket. So, originally, neither of them were going to see their grankids graduate and now a the last minute they both could but due to time and driving distances only one could. He drove her to see her grandson's. They came to my house the next day for the brunch. 18 then tried different friends to see if they wanted the extra ticket. At that hour, it was hard to give the ticket away.

* After the actual ceremony which is downtown, they block off the street and all the graduates and their families congregate there for hugs, kisses and pictures. It's quite a scene. A sea of blue caps and gowns all milling back and forth. Lots of fun.

* Since we exited through the side of the theater in stead of the front my inlaws got lost finding their car and walked an extra 10 blocks! My MIL says she may never wear heels again!

* Once we all got home we each went to our separate beds and crashed fulling clothed in our graduation finery. Hubby and I napped for about an hour. 15 slept for a couple and 18 slept 7 hours! When he finally got up and showered of course he went out to party with his friends.

* Regardless of the fact that we were hosting a family brunch to celebrate 15 woke up Sunday and had his bowl of cereal unable to wait for the brunch or break his routine. It was funny to see. It was like he was sleep walking through the motions of prepping his cereal etc. Very odd but funny.

* I need to buy an American coffee pot maker and a larger Cuban coffee pot. For these events I am constantly borrowing an coffee maker. I don't know what happened to mine. At one point I know I owned 2, now I have none. I don't get it. As for the Cuban coffee pot I have a small one for daily use. I mean it's only 2 of us, we throw the leftover coffee out everyday. When we made the coffee on Sunday, I thought there was enough but I NO. I overlooked my best friend (who incidentally had offered my her VERY large Cuban coffee pot). I had to make Cuban coffee twice. Then she doesn't know but when I was preparing it I almost really messed it up my dad and FIL were there and almost choked laughing at me because instead of putting Cuban coffee in the pot I was putting American instant coffee! That would have been a disaster. Gratefully, I noticed before I closed it up.

* I am very happy that the cleaning lady is going today to clean up after the weekend events. Hubby and I would clean up for 15 minutes and sit and veg in front of the TV for 45. At that rate it took a long time to pick up.

* Tonight we have lots of laundry to get to since we spent the weekend partying. No rest for the weary.

We are good and tired. Lots to be grateful for.....

The Final Stretch

Here we go...18's last AP test is today, Graduation Mass is tomorrow night, Graduation on Saturday with a lunch after that, and Sunday a family brunch to celebrate. My emotions and my mind are a jumble. I look at him and think 'Wow, that's MY son. He's a good kid. I did that.' See, I get misty just writing it. I need to take a deep breath. I have been doing that a lot lately.

He's so clueless. He has no idea of all the things I want for him. He has no idea of all the joy he's brought me. He has no idea of the satisfaction and pride I feel. He's so many things. A loving son and grandson, a good-natured brother, a good friend, an excellent student, a proud athlete, a determined person, a bit head-strong, a take charge kinda guy, not much time for foolishness unless of course it's time to fool around, good with little kids, a joker, a good listener, willing to try new things and comforted by tradition.

I have been doing a lot of reminiscing and I want so many good things for him. I simply pray that he will always be safe and happy. Good luck son on all your future endeavors.

The Best Laid plans...

Have I ever mentioned that hubby loves his job. He's a project accountant which means he spends some time in the office and lots of time at the various projects his company has around the county.

Anyway, today he had a 7:30 meeting and after was going to have time to stop at home to have lunch. Save a few bucks eating leftovers in the comfort of home before heading to the office. And before he actually even went to the office he's stopping by the high school to get the graduation ticket for his mom so she can see 18 get his diploma. Perfect. Life is good.

Our microwave is temperamental shall we say. The screen isn't visible right now. It works. You just have to remember what was where on the screen and hope you are pushing the right thing. So, hubby serves himself a plate of leftover fried rice and hits what he thinks is 2 1/2 minutes (who really knows), goes to the bathroom and the doorbell rings. It's the mailman, he has a certified letter for him to sign for. He does and gets the mail and put it all on the entry table and goes to get his food out. The plate got SO hot he burned his hand because obviously he grabbed it with his bare hand. In an attempt to not drop the whole plate on the stove top he did a juggle thing with both hands and the plate burning more than one finger as he got the plate to the counter. No spillage. Good. The cleaning lady came yesterday and people are coming over tonight. He quickly seeks relief and sticks his hands under some cold running water. OK. Good . Now he gets a glass out to serve himself some water. Opens the fridge and grabs the water pitcher not really looking carefully and as he pulls the pitcher out crash goes the glass bottle of lemon juice all over the kitchen floor. GREAT! There's a dirty towel on the floor from 18s workout yesterday. He grabs that and starts soaking up lemon juice and sweeps up glass and soaks up lemon juice and wets some paper towels and goes over part of the floor that was sticky. Dumps the towel in the washing machine. Fine. Done. So, it smells lemony fresh. Gets his glass of water and plate of food to scarf down lunch at this point because now he's in a hurry AND now his rice is COLD! He ate it cold not wanting to go another round with the microwave.
He called to tell me the story on his way to the office and I was laughing so hard I was in tears. Did I mention I have people coming over and now I gotta hurry home and vacuum up the tiny pieces of glass and mop the kitchen floor. I hope it's not overly lemony smelling. Gimme patience.

ADDED LATER....I just called hubby to ask what the Certified Letter was. He doesn't know. He left it with the rest of the mail and didn't open it! LOL!

Mother's Day

It's always rough for the obvious reason of it's in my face that mom's not here. I get very melancholy and wistful this holiday.

I was recently asked by a friend who's father recently passed, How long does it take to get over it? I told him, I'll let you know as soon as I do. He just looked at me in quiet silence. Then asked, You mean I'm always going to hurt like this? No, I reassured him. It won't always hurt. There will be days it hurts to the point of crying and days that a memory is a comforting warm blanket that helps you through something. But you never forget. They never go away. At least that's how it is for me.

This mother's day, I got my cards, spent time with the extended family, went to my nephews' piano recital (it was lovely!), BBQd at SILs, called other moms and wished them a happy day. It was all perfectly nice. But in the back of my head, nagging at me all day, occasionally causing a lump in my throat was that I couldn't give my mom a hug, that she never met my kids, she would love sitting and telling them all the stupid things my brother and I did as kids and that she did too. Hell, it's making me cry as I type this.

My sweet boys!

No! I am NOT being sarcastic. After dinner last night I sat at the table with both of my sons and we gabbed for about two (yes 2!) hours. It was lovely.
We talked about school stuff but not the grades, the people and the dramas that are in every high school - the stuff soap operas are made. Some of the other things we talked about:
sports (duh), their friends, upcoming summer dreams, college wishes, wouldn't it be great if..., remember when..., comparing my high school days to theirs, weekend plans.

It was great, we didn't watch TV, we didn't do any chores. We just sat, the 3 of us and talked and talked and talked. Really nice. They have no idea how much it meant to me even though I told them.

Athletic Banquet

Yesterday was another long day. We attended the boys Athletic Banquet last night after work and we had a really nice time.
We reconnected with a bunch of parents we hadn't seen in a while. That was nice. I knew boys on many different teams and it was nice to see them all getting their awards. 18 received the Senior Award in Track and Field. We were very surprised. In fact I missed the picture and quite frankly wasn't listening to what they were saying. Why, you ask, did I miss such a special moment? Well, because I was busy at the other end of the stage getting a picture of 15 who received his Letterman's jacket for Track and Field. On the way home we asked him what the coach said as the introduction to the award. He said he didn't hear it because he was looking over the table for his District patch when another coach punched him in the shoulder and said Dude, listen! Pay Attention! and he turned and listened just in time to hear his name. He was very surprised. We all laughed.
His best friend since 1st grade also received a Senior Award for his sport, Hockey. It was great to take a picture of the 2 of them with their awards. I have pictures of those two boys doing assorted things going back to 1st grade, it's great that they are still such good friends. I hope they can keep in touch through college.
Like I said, 15 got his jacket and his oldest friend (brother of 18s friend) also received his jacket (also for hockey). We are GREAT friends with the parents and I was so happy that all 4 of them received awards last night. It was great! I am so happy for all of them.
I took tons of pictures. The lighting in the place is a horrible yellow but oh well. Neither of my sons gave me a hard time about the pictures. They actually called me over to take pictures of different groups and with different friends. I think they appreciate it more, now that they see all the 'old' pictures in the scrapbooks I am making. I think they are enjoying the memories. I certainly am enjoying the ride.

Sprain or Fracture - your guess

Heck your guess is as good as theirs! 18 had been running in Track for the past month with a pain in his foot. The school trainer thinks it may be a small stress fracture and told him to have it x-rayed. 18 decided to keep running and check it out after the season was over. Since it is now over he now has an appointment with the doc but it's not until the 21st. So, he decided to go to an After-hours clinic (which has been wrong with broken bones for us before) and get the x-ray just to know because apparently NOW we need to know.

After a few hours they told him they don't think it's fractured. They think it's just a severe sprain. It's not his ankle, the swelling (yes, it's been swollen a month) is on the top towards the outside of the right foot. Anyway, they say it MAY be a minor stress fracture or a severe sprain. HULLO!!! Isn't that what we (my insurance) are paying you for? to tell us what's wrong? for what might be wrong he could have stayed home and polled that family and friends. They gave him a prescription for pain meds which he's not going to take, crutches which he used to walk outside of the clinic because he felt weird walking with them in his hands in front of their faces, and told him he should stay off of it and follow up with an Orthopedic. Gee Thanks! WhatEVER!

Seeing RED!

Red Pepper Flakes that is. I have discovered Red Pepper Flakes. Discover is the wrong word, they've always been there, I just never really used them.

Since I am cooking more and more veggies now, I gave my lazy susan a spin to look for something new to put on them and make them un-boring. When it stopped the Red Pepper Flakes were staring at me. Hmmm... I tossed in a few dashes and YUM! The jar I had was probably as old as Methuselah, so I bought a fresh jar and have been using it on all my veggies now making new combos every day. Basil and Red Pepper Flakes. Fresh Cilantro and Red Pepper Flakes. Fresh curly parsley and Red Pepper Flakes. A squeeze of lemon and Red Pepper Flakes. You get the idea. Last night I made grilled chicken breasts with garlic, scallions, chunked eggplant, lemon juice and you guessed it Red Pepper Flakes. DELISH! Baby, Where ya been all my life?!

Track Meet Stuff

We had a great time. Here are a few highlights:

* 3 of out boys got medalled in their events. We came in 15th out of over 65 schools. We had no injuries.

* A new state record was set in pole vaulting at 17'6". It was really cool to watch the entire stadium watching this boy, oohhhing and ahhhing and cheering him on. They stopped all the other events so that everyone could watch him.

* One of our coaches drank the other coach's contacts and chaos ensued. C1 didn't bring a case and so he left his contacts in a glass with saline solution. C2 half asleep in the morning grabbed said cup put water in it, drank his meds and left the glass on the counter empty! He left for the park with a group of students who had to register earlier. C1, who is basically blind without his contact, couldn't find the glass, the phone calls started to find his Dr., get the prescription faxed, go buy glasses, get kids to where they needed to be, get C2 to buy his glass. Good thing that a bunch of us parents went and there were extra cars and drivers.

* At dinner I almost yelled out to one of the kids "Let me eat your cherry!" but I caught myself at Let me and rephrased to "Are you going to eat the cherry on your sundae? No? May I have it please?" Whew! It was really close.

* I got the mother of all sinus headaches while I was there and went to get Sudafed. Did you know that now that particular decongestant is regulated and they were just shy of asking me for a blood sample to buy it. Apparently, it's used to make some street drug. Who knew!? not me!

All in all it was a good weekend. We all had fun and came home tired and happy.

I'm leaving

not on a jet plane.....Bwahahaha!

So we are taking off today to Winter Park, Florida for the State Track Meet. The actual events are tomorrow and we will be back on Sunday. It starts early on Saturday and end really late thus the extra days. I think it will be a nice quick getaway amidst all the end of year chaos that's going on. We are all excited!

Expired

Most of our food and drink products now have expiration dates on them. How far past that date is it ok to consume the stuff? This isn't Mission Impossible the container doesn't self destruct when it expires, hmmmm, maybe I'm on to something. Self-destructing food containers when the item reaches the point of non-consumption. You heard it here first people, just for the record. Anyway, back to reality. I rely on my nose; my nose knows when not to eat something because it's gone bad. I really don't use the date for much more than a guide. The other day I was going to use my last bouillon cube and noticed the box expired 2 months ago. I'm thinking how does this go bad? I used it, we all ate and we are still walking and talking.
So, last night at Coffee night the barista was going to toss a bunch of their sandwiches and salads because they expired. The date stamped on them was 4/30. I understand that they can't sell it anymore because if something were to happen to someone they'd be out of business. He offered them to us. We all took one for lunch the next day. My nose will know when I open it today if it has expired or not. Meanwhile I am looking forward to my chicken tarragon sandwich later. YUM!

White space

There is very little white space on my calendar for like the next 3 weeks. It seems there's something to do every day and the days that there isn't I have to do something to get ready for one of the upcoming things.

This week last night was the empty night which I spent cutting up graduation pictures to hand out at the family brunch I am having. Designing and printing the invitations and addressing the graduation announcements. I also reviewed some college forms for my son for the housing and class selection that need to be mailed out and made hotel reservations for our trip up in August AND for Family Weekend in October because some of the hotels were already sold out!
I bagged some of the boys old clothes to give to SIL when I see her on Mother's Day for her boys and cleared out my emails that I hadn't read in a few days.

But in the nest 3 weeks we have: State Track Meet (of course in another city, thereby requiring travel), awards dinner, prom, graduation mass, graduation & grad lunch, family brunch, Mother's Day, MILs birthday, plus all the regular every day life stuff! Tonight it's coffee night. I can't wait to see my girlfriends, they always help recharge me.

Time out!

I gave myself a timeout this weekend. Well, at least Saturday. Hubby and 15 went to a NFL Draft Party and then tickets to the Bon Jovi concert so they left at 1:00 and wouldn't be back until the wee hours. 18 went to Orlando on Friday for Grad Bash so I expected him to sleep in and then to go watch The Draft at a friend's house. At least that was his plan.
So, at noon I had plans to learn how to make Natilla and then just hang out at home all by myself. I was going to putz around on the computer and print some picture to do some light scrapbooking, cook and freeze some meals, and watch old movies that I had recorded on the big screen TV! Ah, the best laid plans....

Natilla class went great. YUMMY! and then I went home and 18 was sprawled on the sofa half asleep with the draft on. Are you going to stay home, I asked him (to rearrange my plans)? No, I 'm just watching the draft. Well, no biggie, I had other things to do. I went to the kitchen and took out all the meats that I wanted to thaw so I could cook later. I putzed around on the computer and sent some pictures to print online because I didn't have enough ink for the printer, so there goes the light scrapbooking. No problem. I cleaned out my wallet and wrote a note to the cleaning lady for Monday about some things I wanted her to focus on since I am having people over after graduation in a few weeks. I called my SIL and we chatted a while, it was her bday. I took a shower. It's now 5:30. 18 is asleep on the sofa. I start to change the channel. He wakes up: NO! I'm watching the draft.
Me: No, you are sleeping with the draft on. Why don't you watch it in bed?
18: Because then I will fall asleep for sure. -Apparently he was asleep for maybe on the sofa.
Me: Well, I have a movie I'd like to watch, can you please watch it in the room because I want to cook while I watch it.
18: Why can't I watch TV in MY OWN HOUSE IN PEACE?! - apparently he paid the mortgage off while I was cleaning out my wallet. He's grumpy, hasn't slept. I take a deep breath
ME: Well, you had said you were going to a friends and I made plans. I already switched them around and you have had this TV for over 2 hours. Now, I think it's my turn. There are 3 other TVs in the house. You can watch on one of those.
18: harrumphs and drags his body off the sofa and goes to his room.
I begin to cook and watch Masterpiece Theater's Emma. In mid saute, 18 stomps out of the house stating he's going to Friend's house. I let it roll off and continue cooking. I made Italian meatballs and froze enough for 1 dinners, I made steak burritos, set one aside for dinner, set 3 aside for 18 for dinner and froze the rest (8), I made Sloppy Joe mixture for lunch for Sunday all while watching Emma then Miss. Austin Regrets and then the 2nd part of Sense and Sensibility.

In the middle of it all 18 did come home for dinner in a much better mood. I paused the movie and he ate the burritos while I continued in my cooking. We chatted about Grad Bash, he talked to about the Draft, and I reminded him and he called his aunt for her bday. I finished up my cooking and sat to finish watching Austin Regrets and he tossed himself on the sofa to watch some. Mumbled something about how anyone could watch this and showered to go to a party.
Alone again. I cleaned up the kitchen and watched the rest of the movies while crocheting.
SO RELAXING! It was wonderful. It was recharging. I really needed that. I didn't think, I didn't try to solve any problems, or plan anything. I just relaxed and cooked, watched movies and crocheted. PERFECT.
Then came Sunday and I had to think and do responsible stuff. But I don't' want to think about that. Reliving Saturday is much nicer.

I fell off the edge but I'm getting back up now...

Where have I been? you ask. I know you didn't really ask but this is my blog, so there. I have been struggling. Struggling with obligation, guilt, responsibility, sacrifice all those types of words...


I won't get into details because I know it will turn into a tirade and well I'm not doing that. Suffice it to say that GM is testing every fiber of my being. Friends have commented to me that I'm quite and they can tell something's wrong. I am really trying people. They say it's a ll a matter of outlook, attitude, happiness is a decision we make when we get up in the morning. It's hard people. I'm really trying. What my gut tells me I should be doing she doesn't want me to do. I think I should be her go to person, there to help her burden, her emergency contact, her helper in all things. I am none of those things because she doesn't want me to be. I don't think it's that I am hurt by it. I am truly struggling because I think I have an obligation and responsibility to be those things and I don't know how to do it when she doesn't want it. I have also been told by more than one Dr. over the years that all this strife that I have over her is making my physically unwell. OK, I'm rambling already and I didn't want to do that. You can only lead a horse to water, you can't make him drink. And GM doesn't even want to go near the water because I filled the trough. I don't know what she wants/expects from me and I truly think I just need to let go. I have been telling myself that for 3 weeks now. It's not easy. It's one of the hardest things I have ever done in my life. I'm trying. I'm really trying. I'm trying to do this and not feel like I'm failing. I have ordered some self-help books that have been recommended to me to help me through this and my next step is therapy which I am seriously considering if I feel like this much longer.
So, I am putting on a smile and focusing on my kids and on myself...things that make me happy...things that make me feel good about me....still praying for patience...taking baby steps.

Book Review

I finished reading Into Thin Air by John Krakauer. It's a true story about a Mt. Everest expedition gone bad. Obviously, he survives and writes the book but not everyone climbing that season was that lucky.
It was tough to read because well it's real. There are some very technical parts. I read more about ice climbing than I ever thought I would in this life time and yet I remember very of those details because I think that's when my eyes would glass over.
Typically I read during lunch. Someone who sees me read often actually stopped and asked me "Is it that bad?" I just looked up at him and didn't know how to respond and he went on to say "Your forehead is all scrunched up, your shoulders are tense. I've heard you laugh out loud and even seen you cry while reading but you look like this is painful." I explained what the book was about and he just thought I should read something more enjoyable. I took a deep breath, rolled out the kinks in my shoulders and plodded on slowly up the South Col of Everest.
The story itself is interesting and I guess by my physical reaction while reading, it was written well enough to put me there on the great mountain. But I can't say I enjoyed it. It just wasn't my cup of tea. If you like high adventure books, then this is for you but honestly, I probably could have been satisfied watching an interview. I will recommend this to few people because I don't think it's for just anyone.

Good-Bye

A friend's brother passed away night before last. I don't know any details but what do I need to know? She loved him and now he's no longer with us. That's all I need to know. I can't even begin to imagine what she is going through right now. I haven't been able to talk to her yet. I can't wait to see her and just give her a hug. I only met Mark once, at his father's funeral but I know about him through my friend. I know that she loved him very much and will be greatly affected by his passing. His children are young and she will be there for them to help them remember their dad. He will be missed and his memory cherished by those he leaves behind. May they take some comfort in the thought that he is in a happy place now and has a peace of mind and heart that we can only imagine. My heart and prayers go out to them all.

I'm not nosey...I just care!

OK, maybe this in nothing and it probably isn't anything but it's getting to me. I realize I don't ask about everyone all the time. I mean I would spend half an hour asking you about everyone and we wouldn't talk about anything! I just expect to be told about whatever thing is happening to whoever I need to know about because you know who I know and well let's back up a little shall we.

When something is going on in my life or in the life of one close to me whether that thing is good or bad I tell certain people about it; my support group, if you will. I keep in touch with people, I believe in the power of positive thinking and in prayer. So, I spread the word. I don't rent a billboard but I tell a few choice people. Why? Because they care. At least I thought so. Because they are my friends. At least I thought so. Maybe we have different definitions of friends. But there are my "GoTo" people. I thought I was one of their "GoTo" people too. But I am finding out that more than one of these people recently had a parent hospitalized for testing or procedures and I didn't know about it. Maybe I'm not one of their GoTo people, I guess I don't have to be. Wow, I feel like I just told somebody I love them and they don't say it back -which has happened to me too. Maybe they don't realize I care. Maybe I need to ask. Maybe they just don't want me to know. Maybe I need to let this go.

Monday excitement!

We flipped my mattress. Since we were flipping it we washed the sheets off of their regular cycle. Woo Hoo! Can you feel the excitement in the air? Sometimes you need to slow down but I can't imagine it being any slower.
I figure it's got to pick up from here.

What's cookin?

This was a food weekend!

I got another box of organic fruit and veggies from my organic food co-op. This week I had 3 fresh beets in there along with lots of other goodies. But the beets were exciting because I have never made beets. There's the whole trauma with the messiness because of the staining and how exactly does one cook beets. WELL, a good friend of mine sent me some recipes and I ended up baking them like a baked potato. I wrapped them in foil and baked them at 400 for a little over an hour. Once they were done the skins came off with a paper towel. I par boiled the leaves and sliced them up in ribbons and tossed them with the sliced beets and feta cheese and toasted walnuts and olive oil and cider vinegar. It was really yummy! The mystique is over. It was really easy- who knew!

Then on Sunday we had another Cuban cooking class. We learned how to make Cuban chicken Soup. Now, I've made chicken soup. But it didn't taste like this. It was YUMMY and easy! The whole thing didn't take more than an hour and half tops - and I think I'm stretching it. If you want to learn how, check out the other blog for the recipe and step by step instructions over here. I brought some for lunch today. It's such a nice way to spend the day. We sat around and chatted with my friend's parents, you could see how much fun they were having and how much they were enjoying teaching us and talking to us. I am enjoying these 'classes' so much.
I think next month may be Natilla. I've got to work on planning that.

Tips: College

I had no idea that you could talk to the Financial Aid office and negotiate! Well, I did it. Tell everyone you know. This is the best kept secret (as far as I'm concerned) about paying for college. I got them to increase his scholarship. AMAZING!!!!
#1: Apply to anywhere you want to go even if financially is it out of your reach. If you get accepted the school will put together a package so that you can afford it.

#2: Apply to more than one school. Most applications ask you to list what other schools you are applying to. If they don't have any competition they are less likely to be in a hurry to accept you.

#3: Ask questions. I have spoken to the FinAid office of 3 very different schools and they are very nice, helpful and willing to answer questions and help educate you on the process.

#4: Fill out the FAFSA (the govt. financial aid form) which ALL the schools use early. Scholarship $ gets given away fast. It's a first come first serve type of deal.

#5: Negotiate! Call, walk thru the numbers with them. I flat out told her, look I can't afford the gap. He simply can't go because the cost is prohibitive. She worked with me and I got and additional 15% in scholarship $. My son is going to the school he wants which is waaaay out of my reach and his aid package comes out to 75% of the cost. The cost not tuition, annual cost, that includes room & board, meals, books, incidentals and a couple trips home.

I did this yesterday and I feel like I won the lottery!

Balance?

I laugh in the face of balance! Who needs you?! I certainly do not!
Fri...
Bought/gathered the goods to make the pañales, cut up and sewed the hems and prepped the rest for the road trip, up until midnight when 15 and his friends got picked up for his weekender (I didn't see him again until Sunday at 10:30- when I got home), forgot to make Sat's dinner. The best laid plans....
Sat...
Up at 4:15 making breakfast to fuel a long distance runner, left the house in the dark at 5:45 with hubby to Sebastian thinking I'll keep sleeping in the car. The rainstorm of the century decided to come down upon us and I was wide awake with hubs trying to make sure that we stayed in our lane and not hit anything. Everyone driving with their hazards on at 20 mph with minimal visibility. Are we having fun yet!? We did that forever (read: a good hour) and then it finally started letting up. Who can sleep now? I'm wide awake so begin crocheting in the car. WE finally make it to The Meet miraculously on time, with 15 minutes to spare. It's freezing! The wind it blowing 30 mph (read: 30 mph- seriously!) Gratefully, I find a windbreaker in the trunk of the car because I'm in short sleeves and brought a broad rimmed floppy straw hat for sun shade! We find the team and settle in the bleachers, 18 is in the first race the 4x800. He runs well but the wind made a difference in the times. The team came in 6th in that event. Well, we got points for the team. I spent the entire day sitting in the stand crocheting off and on, tossing drinks down to kids on the track, handing out snacks and food in the stands, hubby made a run to the grocery store, we all got sunburned and were cold. Lots' s of good fun. The races were awesome. We placed in everything we competed in except the discus and shotput. We were in 1st or 2nd place the entire morning. After the lunch break we were in 1st but only by a few points. It was tight all afternoon. The final race, 4x400, we are up by only 6 points. Our cross-town district rivals are in second place, this is their best event. 18 was the first leg, he ran a close 2nd, we ended up in 7th place giving us 2 more points and our rivals came in 2nd place giving them the 9 points they needed to win The Meet by one point! it was very exciting. Our boys ran their hearts out. We drove back, beat just beat! Showered while dinner got delivered, ate and to bed.
Sunday...
Slept in till 9:30. Nice. But by the time I came out of the bathroom hubby tells me its 10:40. WHAT! I was in there for 10 minutes not an hour! He gives me some crap about Spring forward. Whatever! After breakfast, I proceeded to wash, dry and fold 637 loads of laundry (precisely that many), make a grocery list for hubby, pick up for the cleaning lady that's coming on Mon., all while watching The Bridcage. I love that movie. It's hysterical! I cooked the meat for tomorrow's dinner...yeah! and left at 5:00 to go have amazing Indian food with my girlfriends. Boy was that delish!
Not exactly the balanced weekend I planned but there ya go. Life got in the way again. But it's all good; a good time was had by all.

Weekend planning

So, as you know it's off to Sebastian, FL tomorrow for the Track Meet. I bought some crochet thread in a seafoam green to crochet a border for the baby blanket. Well, it's not a blanket I think it may be called a Receiving Blanket in English. It's made of diaper cloth. Anyway they didn't have the diaper cloth at my craft store. I will try to go after work to another one that's sort of on the way home. If not then I will embroider a design on a bib. I have a yellow bib at home a gajillions of pattern and thread. So between that and the book I need to finish I am good for the trip.

Tonight I am making Carne con Papa to leave done for tomorrow's dinner. That way we have food ready to eat when we get home for dinner. Tonight I am making fish for me and dad and Shrimp Alfredo for the runner because he needs the carbs. Plus I will do a little scrapping after I get everything ready for tomorrow.

Sunday, I want to sew. I have some pillow forms and a pink fluffy material that I bought a while back to make pillows for my niece. I am also going to dinner with my girlfriends. We are going to try a vegetarian Indian restaurant. I also need to update my agenda with dates for other track meets and a few other things the kids have told me about. Plus I have some Thank you cards to send out.

If I actually do these things then I will have actually done like all my favorite things in one weekend! It sounds like an aggressive list to me. Let's see how it turns out.

On the Road...

We are driving to Sebastian, FL on Saturday. I have never been there. We are going for a track meet. It's a 2 1/2 hour drive. 18's first race is at 9:30am. Lovely, I know. You realize the race lasts less than 10 minutes. You do the math. Anyway, moving on.

I have been thinking of what to do in the car on the drive up and back and during the incredible amount of down time that there will be all day. I mean yes, I will watch and root for the other racers form our school but let's face it I am going to be there ALL day.

I'm taking a book to read and I was thinking of taking a new project (since I haven't finished any others why not start a new one?) I think I'm going to make some baby things for a couple of friends who's daughter's are pregnant. I could embroider a bib or crochet a border on a 'pañal' Cuban-style baby blanket. Either of those projects are portable and can actually get done in a day if you work on it. Hmmm... I may actually already own most of these supplies. I'll have to check tonight. Because if I don't I can hit the craft store on my lunch hour tomorrow. Exciting a new project! I'll let you know if it happens and how far I get. I need to start taking pictures of this stuff and learning how to post them. But that would be another project. ;)

Morning talk.

When I got to the kitchen Hubby was checking his watch and harrumphing. I asked -nicely- do I have time for breakfast or are you in a hurry? He said I had 3 minutes. Well, microing my egg only takes 60 seconds. So, I moved ahead. In that 60 seconds, I took out a slice of bread and buttered it and stuck a banana and my bottle of vitamins in my purse. At the ding I dumped the scramble into the slice of bread and folded it in half as I grabbed a paper towel to eat it in the car. I'm ready to go. While I was doing this he was sitting on the sofa watching morning news drinking his cafe con leche and 18 came out of his room and ransacked the clothes in the dryer asking me what I did with the stuff in his pockets. I didn't DO anything, I didn't do the laundry. So, what did dad do with it, he asks. So, I translate for dad. DAD! Did you do anything with the stuff in 18's pants pockets? What was in his pockets? Mind you 18 is standing less than 2 feet from me at the dryer and doesn't answer. I translate again: What was in your pockets. Money he answers. 15 is silently standing by the door just shaking his head waiting for 18 to go to school. Hubby is now standing lets say 6 feet away coffee in hand staring at me waiting for an answer. Money, I translate. Does he need some? You realize that they are closer to each other than to me now but he is still asking me. I keep playing the game. Do you need money? I dunno whatever as he slams the dryer door and proceeds to walk out of the house to the car. I don't think so, I tell hubby. Who then chases after 18 outside. I proceed to walk out and get in the truck eating my breakfast to go. Hubby comes over to my window and taps because apparently the handle won't work for him and he can't open the door. I roll (yes, roll) down the window. I need your keys, he tells me. I hand them to him. He walks over and locks the front door and comes back to the car.
As we drive to my office, Hubby keeps looking at his watch I'm going to be late because you were talking to 18 plus I forgot to take out dinner because you interrupted me. I almost choked on the last bite of my sandwich. Apparently, I interrupted his morning when I asked if he was in a hurry and then I decided to have a leisurely chat with 18 about money. Who knew!? My people don't do well in the morning with words...ya think?!

MARCH!

It's March already and I realized this weekend that I have not read one book yet. Heck, I have only read scrapbook magazines. I am in the middle of "Into Thin Air" and I've been in the middle of it since December! So, I brought it in to work today and by golly I am going to read on my lunch hour. I have to get a balance on all the things I like to do and not let any one get out of hand. Yeah right.

My good deed for today was surprising my GM at the Rehab Center for breakfast. I took her a pastelito and cafe con leche on my way in to work. I have the car today because the boys have a Track meet and go on the bus. She was surprised to see me since I didn't call first. She loved the pastelito and ate that plus the breakfast they gave her. And I took her and her neighbor a couple of books. For my GM, Mario Puzo's "The Godfather" and for her neighbor one in Spanish because she doesn't read English by Isabel Allende.

It was a nice way for me to start the day too.

Cuban cooking

Not too long ago was the inaugural Cuban cooking class. It's being documented over here.

I have been wanting to do this for years. I have talked about doing this for years with family and friends and it's finally happened. I am so happy about it. It means a lot to me. I don't know if I can put it into words but here goes. I didn't grow up here in Miami. I grew up in Northern Virgina and so my sense of "being Cuban" is VERY different from that of my friends who all grew up here.

In fact, growing up my family didn't talk a lot about Cuba and their life there, their exodus etc. I caught bits and pieces because I learned early on how to sit quietly and listen. Grown ups tend to forget that you are there and you pick up on all kinds of things. In any event, the gist is that Cuba wasn't a part of my upbringing the same way it is if you grow up here in Miami. My parents and grandparents all spoke perfect English. I didn't even study Spanish in high school. I studied French and by the time I graduated high school I spoke that better than Spanish. My Spanish was negligible and I couldn't read or write it all.

My grandparents and parents actually went to school here in the states and therefore acclimated very easily to American life. They had homes in the states, in Cuba, Madrid, Miami and Tampa since the early 30's and travelled back and forth with ease. My parents were very American and brought us up that way. I didn't grow up on the Cuban-American hyphen. My mother was adamant that we were American. I know that was a sore spot between my parents. My grandparents and father were very active in politics (that was why they relocated to Northern Va.) and therefore made many friends and enemies Cubans, Cuban-Americans and Americans alike. My father always put me and my brother in the forefront of any march or protest. I don't remember all the causes but I remember all the arguments. My mother always won only allowing us to participate if we carried American flags not Cuban flags because we are American not Cuban. Period. And so with that as a background, you can understand that meals at my home were meatloaf and mashed potatoes not palomilla and frijoles. My grandmother never cooked anything, it's just not her style. My paternal grandmother was the cook and although she ended up in Elizabeth NJ, working in a factory after her jet-set life, I always thought of her as my only proof of 'being Cuban'. Since she lived so far away, I never shared those things with her but I am always told that I am a lot like her.
I didn't grow up with the Cuban smells, sounds and tastes. I only experienced that in the summers when I would come to visit in Miami. It was a whole other world. Honestly, I never thought I'd live here. I always associated Miami with vacation not life, work and real world stuff. Nevertheless, here I am. For years, I talked about learning to cook the recipes that my husband's grandmothers made for us by heart, with a pinch of this and a little of that. Sadly, it never happened and we have since said good-bye to both of those ladies. And as I am now watching his parents, aunts and uncles get older and a little more tired I am determined to learn these things because I want to be able to pass them on to my grandkids and not have these meals just be a memory that my kids talk about to them but I want to pass them on to them.
I know there are a million restaurants that we can go to and buy the food already made but it's not the same. (I'm the one who makes Thanksgiving completely from scratch-just because.) When one of my kids ends up in Timbuktu and I can make Arroz con Pollo or Carne Asada and Flan, it will bring back a flood of memories and help create new ones for others. I love when 18 walks in the house when I am making Ropa Vieja and says "It smells like abuela's house when I was little." It makes me smile.

The kitchen is the heart of the home and I don't want to loose the Cuban beats. That's why I was so excited about the lesson a few weekends ago and look forward to those to come. We were taught to make ham croquettes. When my husband bit into a freshly fried one he said "I remember these." I later fried a few to take to my GM at the rehab center and when she took the first bit she said they were just like when she was little. It brought tears to my eyes. It took her to such a happy place and that meant so much to me to be able to do that. Memories...more and more I am convinced that's what it's all about...memories. Que siga la tradicion...
Mom, I know I'm American but I think I am much more than that and I embrace it all.